Gratitude Archive

As we travel through our lives we come across people who seem to make our  days tough.  People can choose to be kind to one another or chose to make life difficult and unpleasant.   I don’t know why some choose to be hateful instead of kind.  Maybe they are envious, maybe they are insecure, possibly they are just overall unhappy.

As I encounter these people and I have come across more than a few, I choose to give them love.  Now I know you may say, “The people I encounter don’t deserve love.”  Everyone deserves love.  I have found an easy way to release myself from those that tend to annoy or irritate me.  These are very simple methods and I use them often to keep myself free of the negativity they may be giving off.  I want to share these practices with you.

The first thing I do when I find someone who just brings me down or personally attacks me through their words is to give love.  I give love a few different ways depending on the situation I am encountering.  For example there is a gentleman I see often at different social events in our town.  He tends to treat women poorly and brag endlessly on himself and his money.  Usually when I see him, he goes out of his way to make a cutting remark directed towards me.

The last incident with this man, he came up to meet at a meeting in front of several people and showed me a picture on his phone.  “See this?  This is what I gave my wife for our anniversary.  It only cost $1,000 and she loved it!  I was a hero in her eyes.”  Now if you saw the glare this man gave me with his statement you would feel the irritation I felt.  I then walked away and said to myself, “May he be happy, may he be safe, may he be healthy, may he be at peace.”   I choose to bless him instead of react to him.

I wasn’t sure that he need my blessings but  I wanted to personally bless him so I can remove the negative encounter and personally feel the blessing  come back to me.  Sometimes I have to repeat it multiple times depending on the level of negativity.  After I say this calming technique I release the hurt he directed towards me.  After this last event  he no longer bothers me and really he no longer approaches me.  It only took about 3 times of him irritating me before I could see him and no loner feel any upset.

I learned to say these four short wishes or blessings in a mediation app.  I say them for myself as;  ‘May I be happy, may I be safe, may I be healthy and may I be at peace.’  This truly does make me feel better and it releases that negativity that others may bring to me.  By giving the negative person these blessings you are making peace in your heart and allowing the negativity to fall away.  I think you will be amazed how well this works and  how quickly it works.

I also have a technique to give love to those I find difficult by finding three good things about them.  An example using the same man and  listing three positive things about him.  You must be honest when you choose these three things.  Don’t  create compliments. Be honest and true.  It may take a few minutes to find the first thing you are going to praise.  Here are the three things I initially said about him.  He is a good dresser and is nicely groomed.  I believe he is a good father.  I also know he provides well for his family.  This is just another way of focusing on positive attributes instead of the ones I feel are offensive to me.

If you have read my other blogs you know I will also practice deep breathing.  When someone is affecting my positivity I will excuse myself and take five very deep breaths.  I always try to say to myself in these situations, “Just Breathe.”   As I breathe in deeply filling my lungs I say to myself, “Breathe in love”   and while exhaling, “Breathe out gratitude.” It is impossible to be anxious or unhappy when you are breathing deeply.  It has been scientifically proven.

When we become frustrated with others we need to stop and realize we are all children of God.  Created by God for a special purpose.  We may not recognize what the negative person’s purpose is but we can practice love towards everyone.  God would not have put any of us on this earth without a purpose or love for others.

Please know these techniques take practice and do not come easily at first.  We seem to have been conditioned to jump  into defense mode like a coiled snake ready to attack .  I urge you to instead realize you are God’s child and He would want you to give love.  He gave us the ability to find good in all and to make ourselves better people by rising above petty comments.

My wish for you is to live a happier more content life through gratitude.  Know that you are only here for a short period of time and we want to touch as many lives each day that we can.  Live your life to the fullest by graciously loving others.  Give love because we don’t know if others are suffering .  We have the gift of lifting others up as we lift ourselves up through love and gratitude.  Express love and you will never be without love.

“Anyone can find the dirt in someone.   Be the one that finds gold.”  Proverbs  11:27

Throughout the years there have been many times I needed to “rewrite” my story.  I mean to say, change my direction.  You see there have been times I have been off track and running on autopilot.  I didn’t feel fulfilled or that I was improving myself.  I recently rewrote my story.

I have always loved writing.  I have written children’s books that I never published.  I have had aspirations of sitting on a secluded island with no phones or internet and just writing for days on end.  I never did that.  My children’s books still sit in folders, typed on yellowing paper with words crossed out.  I had every intention of publishing them this year but listened to so many people who said it was too hard to get published and it was expensive.  I left them in their folders, untouched.  This was a mistake listening to others.

A few weeks back I was sitting in my office struggling to get my work done when a divine inspiration struck me like a freight train.  I mean God really wanted my attention.  I felt a rush come over me to start a blog on gratitude.  A rush that was so compelling I couldn’t ignore it.

A blog on gratitude?  I practice gratitude, I preach gratitude and I guide others on how to practice gratitude but I have never and I mean ever thought to blog about it.  That would put me in front of the public.  I would share my most inner thoughts.  I could be scrutinized.  The fear lasted for a millisecond and then I searched the internet for a blog site.  The next thing I knew was I was registering myself for a website to post blogs and developing a gratitude blog.

Holy moly, the next thing I knew I was pouring my heart out on a computer screen.  I wrote about how I practiced gratitude.  I told about all my private moments of praying, meditating, holding my gratitude stone…..oh my it all came out!   With each stroke of a key my thoughts became clear.  My energy level increased.  This felt so right.  How could I possible go from knowing nothing about a blog (I had never even read a blog) to writing one?  There was only one answer.  God put it in my heart and He had a plan.

I am now blogging twice a week.  I don’t plan my blogs, I just wait to see what hits me when I open my laptop.  God always guides me on what to write.  He truly inspires me.

After I completed the blog site I thought I would set up a Facebook page to let my friends and anyone I could reach know that I now had a blog.  I simply named the page Grateful Gratitude and posted a description of the blog and how to get to it.  I decided on my first post to  this brand new Facebook page.   It was a simple post.  It was a few basic words.  It said, “I pray that God will use  me to change lives.”  Very simple but from my heart and exactly how I felt.

I monitored the Facebook page for a few days when I reached out to my friend that I consider a social media expert.  I asked him if he had some time to look at my blog over a cup of coffee.  He is one of the people I have added to my mastermind group.  Side note, if you don’t know, a mastermind group is a group of people who you consider brighter and smarter than you in a particular field.  You should always add to your mastermind group so you are contantly learning and improving.  He agreed to meet me.

When I met Aaron at the coffee shop, I asked him if he would look at my stats for my blog and Facebook page.  I mentioned to him I thought one of my posts on Facebook had reached about 19,000 people.  He immediately told me to pull it up on my laptop.  I wasn’t sure if he thought I misread a number or just wanted to see the post for himself.  He looked at my computer and said, “That’s amazing, you have reached over 19,000 people and you have 396 LIKES and 56 SHARES.”  I know Aaron well enough that these were very good results.  He reinforced to me this must be my calling because the LIKES and SHARES were so quick.  It had only been a short period of time since starting this new journey.

That particular post has now reached over 43,105  people, obtained  1,100 LIKES (if you have read my other blog posts you will know that number is a very special number for me) and had 399 SHARES.  This has only been up for 3 weeks total as of today.  I am not telling these stats to brag but to honestly show that God is telling me the world needs Him and His love and I can be a support in getting His Word out to others.

A few days after I posted that first blog and put up that Facebook post another friend approached me.  This friend has a company that produces podcast.  He offered to help me develop another platform for Grateful Gratitude through podcasts.  A podcast, me? Again I felt that push and comfort from above and I am pleased to say we completed our first three podcasts yesterday.  They will be available in a few days for the whole world to hear just look for Grateful Gratitude in iTunes.

Let’s just recap.  I was minding my business  when God hit me with a lightning bolt that put me in a whirlwind for the last three weeks.  First a blog, then a new very successful Facebook page followed up by my own podcast.  What next?  Well I have been approached again by another friend.  This friend will be training me next month to become a certified trainer. That right, my friend is a life coach certified in training others. What will I be certified in?  Gratitude of course!  I will be a Certified Gratitude Coach.  Maybe the first ever certified coach specializing in guiding other to practice gratitude for a happier and more abundant life.

I guess the main premise of this blog is to tell you that you never know where or when opportunity is going to appear in your life.  If you feel something in your heart or your gut, know that is God saying that He has a purpose for you.  Be still and listen.  Don’t worry if it appears to be totally different than what you envision, breathe in the possibilities and grow.

By practicing gratitude every day your will feel uplifted.  You will find negativity floats away from you.  Good things and opportunities constantly happen because you are expressing God’s love through appreciation.  Give every person you see a smile. It is natural for others to smile back when smiled at.  You will have brighten their day.  If someone waits on you in a store or restaurant, tell them sincerely “thank  you” when you pay and make eye contact.  Acknowledge them!  If someone says they are having a bad day, turn it around and give them a compliment.  Find one thing, their outfit, their new car or maybe their iWatch and say you like it.  Be honest and compliment them with enthusiasm.  You will be practicing gratitude in the simplest way and if you do it enough it will become a habit.  You will naturally smile and say thank you to everyone.  A smile will just reside on your face all the time.

I am so grateful and blessed you are reading this.  You have improved my life by taking the time to be on this page reading my words.  We all have a limited amount of time on this earth and you have touched me by being here.   I wish you love, peace, blessings an a life filled with gratitude.

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”  ― Jim Rohn

It took me many years to sit silent and hear God and feel his love.  Now I don’t actually hear God with my ears in words but through my heart.  I lived a very rushed life, multitasking, running on autopilot and thinking about future things that would need to be done.  I decided to stop the rush and just sit still for a moment.

I was sitting on a beach many years ago when I tried to just listen to the crashing waves hitting the sand.  I buried my toes in the sand as well as my hands almost restraining them.  I took a deep breath, closed my eye and just listened.  I heard seagulls  cawing, water splashing, children laughing as well as a ship’s horn blowing.  I felt a whole world that I had been overlooking just moments before.  I absorbed each sound as I identified it and then visualized what the noise would look like if I opened my eyes.  I listened silently for around 10-12 minutes.

I opened my eyes to see fluffy white clouds hanging high in the sky, lush tropical treetops swaying in the warm breeze and an endless sea of water that goes on forever.  It that moment I realized God was telling me to stop and look at the beauty he had created.  Stop and hear Him and feel His love.  These things I was observing were created by miraculous means.  I was enlightened on that beach.

When I was young, maybe 4th grade I had a friend that when the digital clock in her room said 11:11 she would turn to me and say, “11:11, make a wish!”  I continued to say that every time my clock read 11:11.  Throughout the years  at 11:11 I would make a wish and release it.  Fast forward to when I had my little girl many years later and when I saw 11:11 and she was with me I would say, “11:11, make a wish!”  We would both close our eyes and make a wish and release the wish.  To this day we still do this and we will text each other if our phone shows that particular time.  I didn’t realize all those years was I was releasing my prayer to God through a wish.  I never wish for money or tangible things but for love and hope.  I would wish my grandmother would get well or for my friends not to fight.  I guess I was too young to understand I was actually praying instead of wishing.

A few years back I began seeing the number 11 more often outside of my clock.  I would go to church and the bible verse that was being discussed would have the number 11 in the reference.  For example, John 2:11.  Once I was watching “The Amazing Race” and the contestants came out of gate 11.  There also times I will read things that reference an 11 year study or on a big screen that is counting down numbers and I look at it exactly when it turns 11.  I also tend to get hotel rooms that end in 11.  Have bank balances that end in 11.

Several times every day I will look at the clock and the time ends in 11.  7:11, 2:11 or 5:11.  I know each time I see an eleven God is sending me love and support.  Every time I see an 11, I look up and say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you God!”  To me, it just a reminder God loves and supports me.

I have a book I reference often called “Angel Numbers 101” by Doreen Virtue Ph.D. and Lynette Brown.  It is a book that explains different numbers you may be seeing throughout your day or life.  It references numbers 0-999.  Each number has a few sentences with an explanation for that number.

I recently made a decision to become a certified gratitude coach allowing me to help other live a more abundant and happy life by practicing gratitude.  I pray daily to make sure this is a good move for me and that God has placed this dream in my heart to serve others.  It seems every night I wake up during the 1 am-2 am time frame.  When I see the time on the clock I make a mental note of the time and fall back to sleep.  The next morning when I wake up I reference my angel numbers book to see the meaning of the time and it’s significance to the prayers I am releasing to God regarding this new career.  An example is last night I woke up at 1:54 am.  In the book under 154 it says that angels are helping me make necessary changes to increase my happiness and satisfaction.

Another time I woke up at 1:07.  I flipped open my Kindle book app to look at 107 and it said, “You have been listening to God’s loving guidance, and as a result, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.”  Confirmation to me my choice in becoming a certified coach was exactly what I should be doing.

I use this book as a tool to help support positivity in my life.  All of the numbers have connotations of guidance and love that can give you inspiration.  I only use it in connection with the Bible and mediation.  I don’t rely solely on angel numbers but use them to enrich my positivity.

Another way I hear God is through meditation.  When I become still and calm in my mind I feel God’s love.  I tend to mediate the best at night right before I go to sleep although I do mediate in the mornings too.  At night I have nothing pressing to get done so I am able to focus more clearly.   I spend 10 minutes breathing deeply and just clearing my mind.  I try to only think about my breath.  I breathe in love on the inhale and out gratitude on the exhale. I usually take 5 deep breaths and then just breathe normally.  I try to let my mind be open to feel love and blessings with no other thoughts.  By clearing my mind I open myself up for calm.  I no longer feel negativity around me since starting daily meditation.  I am not saying negativity isn’t still in my life but it doesn’t affect me any more.  When someone is super negative they don’t tend to stay around me and if they do they no longer bother me.  I am calm now.

After meditating at night, I sleep more soundly.  I also wake up with more clarity in the morning.  Answers come to me first thing in the morning after mediating before sleeping.  I feel it is God’s way of guiding me through life and helping me feel his presence.

How do you feel Him?

“Don’t ignore the signs you asked God to show you.” unknown

The above quote has 11 words with the author.  Just saying………..

When you look in the mirror what do you see?  Is it your gorgeous face or do you start scrutinizing everything you think could be improved?

Most people see only the things they wish would be different.  We criticize ourselves in the harshest ways.  These flaws range from wrinkled skin, weight issues to body flaws.  We scrutinize every little feature about our beauty and think, “If I only had smoother skin or I weighed 40 pounds less.”  The more you pint out the flaws, the more your mind believes they exist and seals them in your subconscious.

I look at my flaws quiet differently now than I did in my 20’s and 30’s.  When I look in the mirror and I see that soft, slightly rounded tummy (some may call it a pooch).  I don’t say, “If my stomach was flat I would be happy.” Instead I think to myself, “My little tummy curve makes me more feminine.  I don’t even notice it since my waist is defined.” I also praise myself because not too long ago I weighed almost 200 pounds and I was very unhappy with my appearance and the way I felt.  I worked hard to lose over fifty pounds and I am going to acknowledge my efforts.

In the past I would look in the mirror sadly at my stretch marks across my lower stomach and sigh.  I wanted to have cosmetic surgery to remove them but instead I changed my mindset and saved my money.   I am proud of my stretch marks because to me it proclaims God blessed me with a normal pregnancy and healthy baby!  I choose not to see the scars as something ugly, but as something amazing since God chose me to be a mother and those scars are stripes of motherhood.

I recently was helping someone that was unhappy about her weight gain.  She told me how she was so unhappy because she knew her weight was more than it had even been.  She said she felt ugly.  So you know LoLo, I don’t allow people to hurt themselves with words so I quickly pointed out to her that even though she only saw the weight I wanted her to know the outstanding things about herself.  I told her things immediately I noticed about her that had nothing to do with her weight.  She has a beautiful face and her makeup always looks perfect.  She wears very stylish clothes that hang properly and accents her wardrobe with very pretty jewelry.  Her smile lights up a room and people gravitate to her.  I saw her eye brighten more and more with each compliment.  She shared with me that other people had commented on the same things and she just might believe it.  I guess compliments are proven by the number of people that agree with each compliment.

We need to practice looking in the mirror and celebrating each and everything you think qualifies as a flaw.  Take that flaw and find three things to be thankful for.  For example; I have extremely poor eyesight and I have to squint to see in the mirror before I put in my contact or put on my glasses.  Instead of being upset I have bad vision, I am thankful I have an usual eye color (blue on the inner iris and green around the outer iris), that my eyes are large and emphasize my face as well as the fact  that I can see at all!  Many people would like to be able to see with corrective lenses and not be blind. I am jubilant that I have vision and actually perfect vision with correction.

Every morning when I get up, my lips are always chapped and cracked.  They always look like I have been in subzero temperatures for forty days. Instead of complaining, I look at them and say how thankful I am for full lips with naturally pretty coloring.  I am also happy that I have a paste I can put on them every morning to slough all that dry dead skin away.  See, under those “flawed” lips lies very supple lips.

I also realize that I am no longer in my 20’s and 30’s so there are going to be things that happen as I age that I want to celebrate instead of letting them defeat me.  The first thing I notice was my vision changed overnight. I have never had good vision, but my focal length had literally changed overnight right after I turned 40.  I did have to get a new proscription for my contacts and glasses, but you know what?  I can see 20/20 with the correction and I look adorable in my new glasses.  I am sure of it because my husband and my daughter both complimented me and I know they wouldn’t be untruthful (you may insert your smile or laughter here.)

You see, the thing you may not realize when you see your flaws is that you have been created uniquely by God and you are God’s masterpiece.  God gave some of us freckles (angel kisses my daughter was once told about her freckles), some of us a curvier rear end, a birthmark, an unusual skin tone or maybe a tongue that can be contorted in a “W” (my daughter’s quirk).   He knew what belonged on you.  He chose special qualities for all of us and created a one of a kind human being.  He put thought into you.

The next time you look in the mirror and you begin a running commentary in your head of what’s wrong with you, please do this one thing for me and yourself.  Please stop, recognize what you are doing and find three things that are good about that particular “flaw” I have given you a few examples above to help you get started.  If you can only recognize one thing positive, then praise that one thing instead of criticizing the thing you don’t like.  Make it a natural habit to find the good in your flaws and within a few days you see that flaw that become your beauty.  If you say things like my skin is looking brighter, my eyes sparkle today, these jeans fit great across my hips or how about that those little wrinkles around my mouth are from smiling so much.

You are a child of God molded in His image.  He has blessed you with an incredible face and body that works miracles every day to keep you alive so know this, YOUR IMPERFECTIONS MAKE YOU PERFECT!

If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.

Kristin Chenoweth

Last summer I was having difficulty attending my church regularly.  I felt lost and was longing to be part of a church family.  I wanted to be in a church where I was spiritually charged when I walked in the door.  I found that church and found some incredible ministers within that church.

There is one particular pastor I am very fond of his teaching style (although each minister we have is brilliant) and he is Pastor Blake.  He is so kind and vulnerable.  He will share anything about himself in his sermons.  The first time I saw him preach, he was having difficulties getting the screen on stage to work.  He clicked and clicked buttons and even dropped the remote for the screen onto the stage floor.  The technical team had to come on stage and switch out remotes for him and turn the screen on.  Blake just took it in stride and continued with his sermon.

Our ministers rotate giving the sermons so I only get to hear Blake every few months.  It is always a highlight when he comes because he is so entertaining and easy to understand his message.  I also should mention that he wanders during his services and gets off topic.  I can so relate!  Blake always returns to the sermon but when he wanders he talks about thing like Reese’s pieces candy or alligators leaving the congregation laughing.  He does tie the random comments into the sermon and I think that’s what keeps me engaged.

About a month ago I went to church and was surprised to see Blake was giving the sermon that day. He was talking about God’s calling  (www.chaseoaks.org/sermon/listen-gods-calling/).   This was  a very timely and appropriate sermon pertaining to my life.  He spoke about how we all have a calling from God and a purpose to be on this earth.  There is even one part of the sermon he says “When God calls,”  someone’s cell phone rang.  An awesome nudge from God that was unexpected to Blake.

I listened intently as he talked about his charity  (https://gifted.global/)  and going to the Dominican Republic. He was going to build beds for doctors that were tending to the medical needs of the city’s residents.    They needed a substantial amount of beds built in a very short amount of time.   The next thing he showed us on the screen was a picture of the beds he completed for the doctors.  They weren’t just beds to sleep on, he had added charging ports for the doctors and shelves along the sides.  He superseded his requirement.  You could see how pleased he was.

At the end of the sermon it is always announced that anyone that needs prayers they may go to the bottom of the stage and the minister that gave the sermon will say a prayer with you.  I decided I wanted to go to the bottom of the  stage to meet Blake.

The line for prayers was about 8 people deep ahead of me.  I was the last one in line.  I heard Blake ask each person in line what their prayer request was and hear him bless and pray for each of them.

It was now my turn to see Blake.  He looked at me and said, “What do you need prayers for today?”  I looked at him and said, “I don’t need any prayers today.  I want to give you this gratitude heart.  You have touched my life and fully opened my heart to God.  Please take this heart and put it somewhere you will see it and know you are touching many peoples’ lives.”  He looked at me and gave me the warmest hug which I did not expect.  He then said, “You have no idea how much I needed that.”  I didn’t realize at the time but part of his sermon was about how he hears from God through His people. I continued to tell him that because he seems so real and honest I was able to relate to him and hear God’s word.  As I told him this, I felt a tear run down my cheek.  It was my first true tear of gratitude.  I guess God allowed Blake to received what he needed at that moment and I received what I needed in those quick few minutes.

God placed Pastor Blake in my life to teach to me in a way I can hear and understand.  He touches so many lives without even knowing it.  I had no idea that Blake would need to hear the words I said to him on that particular day at that particular time.  I never considered that although I liked Blake because he seemed so human that he might possibly just be human and being human he would need prayers too.

When I tell this story to others they say it gives them chills or they may get a tear in their eye.  If someone touches your life please tell them.  You have no idea what it may mean to them.  Tell someone from you heart how important they are or that they are making a difference.  You will feel the effects of your kindness many times over.  If we spread enough love our world will be a much better place.

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson