When you look in the mirror what do you see? Is it your gorgeous face or do you start scrutinizing everything you think could be improved?
Most people see only the things they wish would be different. We criticize ourselves in the harshest ways. These flaws range from wrinkled skin, weight issues to body flaws. We scrutinize every little feature about our beauty and think, “If I only had smoother skin or I weighed 40 pounds less.” The more you pint out the flaws, the more your mind believes they exist and seals them in your subconscious.
I look at my flaws quiet differently now than I did in my 20’s and 30’s. When I look in the mirror and I see that soft, slightly rounded tummy (some may call it a pooch). I don’t say, “If my stomach was flat I would be happy.” Instead I think to myself, “My little tummy curve makes me more feminine. I don’t even notice it since my waist is defined.” I also praise myself because not too long ago I weighed almost 200 pounds and I was very unhappy with my appearance and the way I felt. I worked hard to lose over fifty pounds and I am going to acknowledge my efforts.
In the past I would look in the mirror sadly at my stretch marks across my lower stomach and sigh. I wanted to have cosmetic surgery to remove them but instead I changed my mindset and saved my money. I am proud of my stretch marks because to me it proclaims God blessed me with a normal pregnancy and healthy baby! I choose not to see the scars as something ugly, but as something amazing since God chose me to be a mother and those scars are stripes of motherhood.
I recently was helping someone that was unhappy about her weight gain. She told me how she was so unhappy because she knew her weight was more than it had even been. She said she felt ugly. So you know LoLo, I don’t allow people to hurt themselves with words so I quickly pointed out to her that even though she only saw the weight I wanted her to know the outstanding things about herself. I told her things immediately I noticed about her that had nothing to do with her weight. She has a beautiful face and her makeup always looks perfect. She wears very stylish clothes that hang properly and accents her wardrobe with very pretty jewelry. Her smile lights up a room and people gravitate to her. I saw her eye brighten more and more with each compliment. She shared with me that other people had commented on the same things and she just might believe it. I guess compliments are proven by the number of people that agree with each compliment.
We need to practice looking in the mirror and celebrating each and everything you think qualifies as a flaw. Take that flaw and find three things to be thankful for. For example; I have extremely poor eyesight and I have to squint to see in the mirror before I put in my contact or put on my glasses. Instead of being upset I have bad vision, I am thankful I have an usual eye color (blue on the inner iris and green around the outer iris), that my eyes are large and emphasize my face as well as the fact that I can see at all! Many people would like to be able to see with corrective lenses and not be blind. I am jubilant that I have vision and actually perfect vision with correction.
Every morning when I get up, my lips are always chapped and cracked. They always look like I have been in subzero temperatures for forty days. Instead of complaining, I look at them and say how thankful I am for full lips with naturally pretty coloring. I am also happy that I have a paste I can put on them every morning to slough all that dry dead skin away. See, under those “flawed” lips lies very supple lips.
I also realize that I am no longer in my 20’s and 30’s so there are going to be things that happen as I age that I want to celebrate instead of letting them defeat me. The first thing I notice was my vision changed overnight. I have never had good vision, but my focal length had literally changed overnight right after I turned 40. I did have to get a new proscription for my contacts and glasses, but you know what? I can see 20/20 with the correction and I look adorable in my new glasses. I am sure of it because my husband and my daughter both complimented me and I know they wouldn’t be untruthful (you may insert your smile or laughter here.)
You see, the thing you may not realize when you see your flaws is that you have been created uniquely by God and you are God’s masterpiece. God gave some of us freckles (angel kisses my daughter was once told about her freckles), some of us a curvier rear end, a birthmark, an unusual skin tone or maybe a tongue that can be contorted in a “W” (my daughter’s quirk). He knew what belonged on you. He chose special qualities for all of us and created a one of a kind human being. He put thought into you.
The next time you look in the mirror and you begin a running commentary in your head of what’s wrong with you, please do this one thing for me and yourself. Please stop, recognize what you are doing and find three things that are good about that particular “flaw” I have given you a few examples above to help you get started. If you can only recognize one thing positive, then praise that one thing instead of criticizing the thing you don’t like. Make it a natural habit to find the good in your flaws and within a few days you see that flaw that become your beauty. If you say things like my skin is looking brighter, my eyes sparkle today, these jeans fit great across my hips or how about that those little wrinkles around my mouth are from smiling so much.
You are a child of God molded in His image. He has blessed you with an incredible face and body that works miracles every day to keep you alive so know this, YOUR IMPERFECTIONS MAKE YOU PERFECT!
If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.