As we travel through our lives we come across people who seem to make our days tough. People can choose to be kind to one another or chose to make life difficult and unpleasant. I don’t know why some choose to be hateful instead of kind. Maybe they are envious, maybe they are insecure, possibly they are just overall unhappy.
As I encounter these people and I have come across more than a few, I choose to give them love. Now I know you may say, “The people I encounter don’t deserve love.” Everyone deserves love. I have found an easy way to release myself from those that tend to annoy or irritate me. These are very simple methods and I use them often to keep myself free of the negativity they may be giving off. I want to share these practices with you.
The first thing I do when I find someone who just brings me down or personally attacks me through their words is to give love. I give love a few different ways depending on the situation I am encountering. For example there is a gentleman I see often at different social events in our town. He tends to treat women poorly and brag endlessly on himself and his money. Usually when I see him, he goes out of his way to make a cutting remark directed towards me.
The last incident with this man, he came up to meet at a meeting in front of several people and showed me a picture on his phone. “See this? This is what I gave my wife for our anniversary. It only cost $1,000 and she loved it! I was a hero in her eyes.” Now if you saw the glare this man gave me with his statement you would feel the irritation I felt. I then walked away and said to myself, “May he be happy, may he be safe, may he be healthy, may he be at peace.” I choose to bless him instead of react to him.
I wasn’t sure that he need my blessings but I wanted to personally bless him so I can remove the negative encounter and personally feel the blessing come back to me. Sometimes I have to repeat it multiple times depending on the level of negativity. After I say this calming technique I release the hurt he directed towards me. After this last event he no longer bothers me and really he no longer approaches me. It only took about 3 times of him irritating me before I could see him and no loner feel any upset.
I learned to say these four short wishes or blessings in a mediation app. I say them for myself as; ‘May I be happy, may I be safe, may I be healthy and may I be at peace.’ This truly does make me feel better and it releases that negativity that others may bring to me. By giving the negative person these blessings you are making peace in your heart and allowing the negativity to fall away. I think you will be amazed how well this works and how quickly it works.
I also have a technique to give love to those I find difficult by finding three good things about them. An example using the same man and listing three positive things about him. You must be honest when you choose these three things. Don’t create compliments. Be honest and true. It may take a few minutes to find the first thing you are going to praise. Here are the three things I initially said about him. He is a good dresser and is nicely groomed. I believe he is a good father. I also know he provides well for his family. This is just another way of focusing on positive attributes instead of the ones I feel are offensive to me.
If you have read my other blogs you know I will also practice deep breathing. When someone is affecting my positivity I will excuse myself and take five very deep breaths. I always try to say to myself in these situations, “Just Breathe.” As I breathe in deeply filling my lungs I say to myself, “Breathe in love” and while exhaling, “Breathe out gratitude.” It is impossible to be anxious or unhappy when you are breathing deeply. It has been scientifically proven.
When we become frustrated with others we need to stop and realize we are all children of God. Created by God for a special purpose. We may not recognize what the negative person’s purpose is but we can practice love towards everyone. God would not have put any of us on this earth without a purpose or love for others.
Please know these techniques take practice and do not come easily at first. We seem to have been conditioned to jump into defense mode like a coiled snake ready to attack . I urge you to instead realize you are God’s child and He would want you to give love. He gave us the ability to find good in all and to make ourselves better people by rising above petty comments.
My wish for you is to live a happier more content life through gratitude. Know that you are only here for a short period of time and we want to touch as many lives each day that we can. Live your life to the fullest by graciously loving others. Give love because we don’t know if others are suffering . We have the gift of lifting others up as we lift ourselves up through love and gratitude. Express love and you will never be without love.
“Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one that finds gold.” Proverbs 11:27