Gratitude Archive

I know people probably get tired of hearing me say how blessed I am that God put my husband in my life.  When you are truly blessed with a wonderful spouse it is so important to tell others about him or her. Praise them in public as often as you can.

If you have read my previous blogs you know that I had a very difficult first marriage riddled with drug abuse and alcohol dependency with my first husband.  I began saying around 16 years of age that I would be married twice, one for experience and once for love.

I guess God was preparing me for the life I was meant to live.  I definitely got experience from my first husband.  Experience I really wasn’t prepared for.  I was married just before my 23rd birthday.  I had no clue what it meant to be a wife.  I just wanted to be married and have a new last name with a new life.

Both my first husband and I said to each other a month before we got married that neither of us wanted to get married but too much had been planned to back out.  We said we would just go through with it and see what happened.  What a pathetic attitude about the sanctity of marriage.  God knew I had to walk through this marriage to understand what He would bless me with later in life.

I had no spirituality when I was entering into that first marriage.  I didn’t practice and appreciate God and His blessings at that time.  I hadn’t been raised knowing God and I didn’t seek out God on my own.  I am not blaming anyone but just setting the story.

Every day my first husband and I went to work, came home and proceeded to head out to the bar to meet friends and drink all night.  We did this repeatedly for  seven years until I became pregnant.  I was so happy to be pregnant as a matter of fact I said in early December of 1993, “I want a baby and I want it right away!”  Miracles happen because by mid-December   I was pregnant.

Now this was a blessing to me, not my husband at the time.  The first words out of his mouth when I told him I was pregnant were, “It’s not mine!”  It was like a high school boy who had a one night stand.  He said it so nonchalantly.  I was devastated he could say such a thing when I was so joyous.  I was so thrilled to be pregnant that I started wearing maternity clothes at 4 months just so I could tell everyone I was pregnant.

I of course stopped drinking and going out but unfortunately my husband didn’t.  I basked in my love of being pregnant while he found other girls to go out with.  I suspected in the back of my mind that he had to be seeing someone because he came home late at night after I had gone to bed.  He began sleeping in and not going to work so we rarely saw each other or talked.

He did put together the crib and attend one Lamaze class with me but my hired doula attended all the other classes and doctor’s appointment.  I knew once the baby came it would be different and things would be better.  I was wrong.

Our baby was born on August 10, 1994 and she was a gorgeous, healthy baby girl.  The delivery nurses commented on her beautiful red lips and her perfectly shaped eyebrows.  My husband came to the hospital for the delivery and a few times after I delivered her but made excuses that he had to go to work and get things ready at the house for when we came home.  I didn’t mind because it gave me so much alone time in the hospital with Lexie.  I bonded with that girl when I was 5 months pregnant and chose her name.  I talked to Lexie Paige in uterine and after she was born I would talk to her like she was an adult even though she was a newborn.

I basically lived as a single mom but I do want to say my first husband did love Lexie very much.  He just didn’t know how to be a father.  Now I’m not really sure anyone knows how to be a parent but if you bring a child into this world you need to at least try.

He tried by holding her for short periods of time, buying her gifts (that baby girl had more pairs of shoes than Imelda Marcos) or by telling all his friends about his baby girl.  To him that was what you did when you were a father.  He would say, “A baby should always be with their mother because a mother can take better care of them.”

I won’t rehash the bad parts of this marriage because I have already blogged about it in my blog about surrendering to God.  I will say that once my divorce was final I began my search for God and the life He had planned for me and my daughter moving forward.

Lexie was in first grade when the divorce was final and  we began attending church regularly.  We were both baptized and started a new life with God as the center of our lives.  After soul searching for about a year asking God what did He want for me in life and what type of husband should I have, I found the answers.

God wanted me to have a man who could be a wonderful father to Lexie, that could provide for our family financially, that was faithful to me and God, that was respectful, kind and offered unconditional love. I was very clear on God’s plan for a second husband.  God would provide that man for me and Lexie.  I trusted in His plan and let go.

Ephesians 4:2 says “Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, being with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of The Spirit though the bond of peace.”

It wasn’t long after realizing God’s love and plan that He brought me Wes.  He purposely put Wes in my life  because I would have never met him on my own.  You can reference my blog about how I met Wes online with God’s intervention.

Wes has become one of the greatest blessings in my life.  Wes is very calm, extremely smart and educated, he is a marvelous provider and loves me unconditionally.  He has brought out patience and kindness in me.  He has been outstanding with Lexie when she didn’t have her father in her life.  I respect and honor him for everything he does for me and puts in my life. This could be as simple as a hug, words of wisdom, a glance across a room when someone is being unkind to me for support or fun vacation.

To be the best you can be as a spouse you have to overlook the little things and recognize that words can hurt if you don’t hold your tongue or pick your battles.  If I am feeling a bit crabby I will tell Wes, “I am so sorry if I am short with you today.  I am crabby and don’t mean to be.”  I always want to let him know if I am feeling off.  I guess it is sort of  to apologize before I may say something instead of being rude and apologizing after.  He is always supportive and tells me I am fine.

I do honor my husband as if I am second because of the way he protects me, loves me and provides for me.  I was a single mom struggling for many years, some nights I wasn’t sure how I would feed my child and I knew what it was like without love and protection.  He does little things that I appreciate for how unselfish he is.  For example; he will always offer me the remote control to watch whatever program I prefer.  He lets me pick the restaurant regardless of what he would like to eat.  When we were planning a trip to Charleston and he told me to pick the sites I wanted to visit.

We are so appreciative of each other that when we were on vacation it is more important for uninterrupted time together than anything else we planned to do.  I think that knowing life is precious and having five days together strengthens our love for each other and allows us to see some amazing historical sites together.

He and I can sit silent together and be content or we can walk through a museum pointing out interesting things to each other.  I am so at peace with God’s choice for my second husband and the life Wes is giving me.  The following bible verse rings true in my heart regarding my second chance for a happy marriage.

Lamentations 3:21-23

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

God always offer second chance to make a new life.  I can always rely on Wes for his kindness, emotional support, intimacy, strength as well as a peaceful life.

When I wanted to start our blog, Facebook page, podcasts and YouTube channel all Wes said to me was, “If it makes you happy, it makes me happy.  I will support you no matter what you do.”  He truly thinks of me before he thinks of himself.

I thank God many times throughout the day for Wes.  He is an absolute king to me and he treats me like a queen without any hesitation.

If you are suffering in a marriage that is not peaceful or full of addiction or other strife, know that you are worthy of the man or woman God intends you to be with.  Break free from any unhealthy relationship with the full faith that God will heal you and give you the person you deserve.  God wants each and every one of us to have too many blessings to count and someone who revels in your beauty and gifts to fulfill your life.

I pray for all of you reading this blog to receive nothing less a beautiful and fulfilled life with all of God’s blessings and love.  You so deserve what He has planned for you and wants you to receive.  I am so blessed that you have been here with me to read this blog.  love, peace and gratitude for you, LoLo

I recently watched “A Wrinkle in Time” and fell in love with one of the characters named Mrs. Who.  She spoke throughout the whole movie in inspirational quotes.  I am a lover of quotes and she really appealed to me.

I want to write about several of the quotes were said in the movie as many of them apply to my life.  The first quote is the title of this blog, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” by Rumi.   Rumi was a poet, a scholar and a theologian. He believed passionately in the use of music, poetry and dance as a path for reaching God.

When you read the quote it is clear that when you are hurt by words or darkness it opens you up for light (God) to come in.  I have been hurt or tempted by darkness throughout my life and every time I let the light in (God) I became stronger and a healed person.  I have doodled this on my desk pad as to not forget it.

Any time someone attacks you mentally or emotionally remember this is an opening that  becomes a wound and is able to let the light into you.  Focus on letting God (the light) in because He can quickly turn things around for you and make you see the good in the hurt.

I have not slept at night because darkness caused me to worry.  Worry about how to pay my bills, how to lose weight, was my medical test going to be good or bad news.  I would turn to God and pray knowing God would always take care of me and He already had a solution to whatever I was worrying about.  I allowed the light to come in and push that darkness and worry out of me.

Another thought-provoking quote is by Calvin one of the movie characters.

He says, “You don’t know how lucky you are to be loved.”  This gives me the chills.  I have always been loved in my life but once in high school my friends decided to “eliminate” me from the clique we had formed.

I had no warning of the ousting, the blow  came late one Friday afternoon when school ended. I was a sophomore. “We don’t feel like you fit into our group any more.  We want you to find new people to hang out with!”  said the person I considered my best friend since seventh grade.

This was a tough thing to hear when the first basketball game was that night and everyone would be there and then go to the local pizza place afterwards followed by the weekly sleepover.  I was devastated especially because I had no idea why I was forever going to be excluded from our group.

I stayed home that night crying and still not understanding.  This was long before I realized people take their unhappiness and insecurities out on you.  The girls in the group had many flaws and became mean girls throughout high school.  I soon knew I had to find someone else to be my friend and appreciate me for who I was and not who I was trying to be.

I did find a friend that also didn’t have anyone to hang out with.  Her name was Robin and my parents hated her.  I guess that’s why I loved her!  She was my friend though the rest of my high school years and even moved to Dallas with me after high school and was the maid of honor in my first wedding.  I lost track of Robin throughout the year and was so sad when I heard she had passed away a few years back.

I am so grateful Robin was my friend when no one else would be.  I became so strong from my high school experience.  I feel so loved today by my husband, daughter, grandson and dear friends.  I haven’t felt that hurt since high school.

“Maybe if you aren’t unhappy sometimes you don’t know how to be happy.” — Meg Murray stated.  Wow isn’t that true!  If we are happy all the time we don’t appreciate our happiness or grow.

I don’t really welcome unhappiness in my life but I recognize it is an important part of being emotionally healthy.  Unhappiness doesn’t need to be deep despair and drama. Actually if you are feeling God’s touch many things that seem unhappy to others may not be that upsetting to you.

An example is I used to be an emotional wreck.  I suffered panic attacks, worried about everything and cried at a drop of the hat.  Once I learned how to understand my emotions and know they are supported by God most unhappiness left me.  I am still sad when family members pass away but I try now to celebrate the fact I knew them and how they added to my life.  I am sad I can’t see them every day but I recognize they were an angel brought to my by God to make me a better person.  I have their memories with me always.

I recently had a friend that lost her husband at an early age.  She posted on Facebook of his passing but then posted pictures of the people he loved surviving and celebrating his life.  It did bring a tear to my eye because it was so uplifting they appreciated the time and memories they shared while he was here on earth.  It was beautiful and moving to see the way they honored him.

The last quote I would like to share with you comes from Mrs. Which who is played by Oprah Winfrey.  It is, “There will no longer be so many pleasant things to look at if responsible people do not do something about the unpleasant ones.”

This is so powerful with the way the world is today.  Some many people and media sources do everything they can to shock the world.  We have graphic video on the news and social media, people telling their stories of being a victim not to mention the hatred we are seeing throughout the world.

We need to be kind to one another.  We are all God’s masterpieces put here for a purpose.  A purpose to do good and love one another.  We all have different opinions, religions and beliefs but we need all those difference in our world to give us diversity.  We have people suffering that we can give help to make their lives better.  We don’t need to do extraordinary things (although that is appreciated) because small acts of kindness produce miracles.  When someone is having a bad day and you tell them they matter and smile at them it can lift them up immediately.  A positive comment can negate a negative opinion of one’s self.

I have a weakness of watching “Big Brother” and on this season I have seen a beautiful example of kindness turning someone’s life around.  Sam is a cute little welder and in the first competition she was one of the losers and was to suffer a punishment.  Her punishment was to off and on through the week become a robot which was a traveling video screen that she would move around inside the “Big Brother” house while she was outside the house. She had try to build relationships with other house guests and build alliances. She was isolated from personal contact as a robot and other’s ignored her.

She randomly would be allowed back in the house as a human and she felt she had connected with no one because of this punishment.  She cried and stated no one would talk to her and she felt so alone.  She was suffering.

“Big Brother” offered a reward to the house guest that was most trending on social media and Sam won that reward.  She was given a bonus life that if she got evicted she could come back into the house.  This was a huge blessing for her since she was sure to get evicted.  She needed an act of kindness and she received it from America.

If you see someone homeless remember that could have easily been you when you were in a tough place.  Offer that person a bottle of water, a snack or the words, “God loves you and better days are coming for you.”  The homeless are God’s masterpieces too and they need a hand up as you give them a handout to survive.  God wants us to help others and serve.  Can’t we all spare a few bucks or a meal to help out our fellow man?

Please practice one act of kindness a day.  Kindness is contagious and we can rebuild our world through love and respect for others.  May you feel God’s blessings daily and carry His words on your lips when you speak to other.

All my love, gratitude and prayers for your happiness-LoLo

 

 

I had a friend recommend a book on Facebook called “He Speaks to Me: Preparing to Hear the Voice of God” by Priscilla Shirer.  It has absolutely led me to hear God so much more clearly.

If you have read some of my other blogs you will know I experience God winks through the number eleven.  A God wink is an event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.

I see the number eleven multiple times throughout the day.  I will usually see it at least four different times witin the day that end in 11.  4:11, 8:11, 11:11, 5:11 and so on.  Yesterday I saw the time end in eleven six different times, a man wearing a jersey with the number 11 on it, I filmed 11 video clips on my iPhone, my Facebook page twice had 11 notifications and my receipt when I picked up my photo order at Walgreen was $11.11.  Below is a photo of my receipt.

I have friends text me pictures of the clock on their phones when it is 11:11 or 1:11 since they know the significance of eleven to me.  Many days I will go to our Facebook page and Grateful Gratitude will have eleven notifications.

Each and every time I see a number 11 I look up and say, “thank you, thank you, thank you!”  I know it is God reaffirming His love and presence with me.

After reading the book my friend recommended the elevens became even more prevalent and occurred more often.  I also have noticed other occurrences of seeing and hearing God.

Last night I woke up shortly after 1 am and the slats on my blinds by the side of my bed were in an opened position pointing upward so I could see the night sky.  I always close these tightly at night since our bedroom faces the street.  Last night they were open and as I looked up to the sky I saw a bright full moon with a dark sky behind it and I could also see the leaves on the tree outside our window in the foreground of the moon.  It was so vivid and bright as if God was saying hello to me and comforting me.

I grabbed my iPhone and turned off the flash so I could take a picture to remember it and not wake up my husband.  I took two pictures and viewed them to make sure they had taken.  They had.  I looked at the clock and it was 1:07am.  The moon was so bright that I felt the time was significant and  I looked in my angel numbers book to see what the number 107 meant and I discovered this passage.

*107*  ( Angel Numbers 101 by Doreen Virtue)

***You have been listening to God’s loving guidance, and as a result, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.***

When I woke up this morning the pictures were no longer on my iPhone or I would post them here for you to see.  I am not sure what happened to them but that vision is definitely forever in my memory.  I know this was God blessing me with His presence.

I think the book by Priscilla Shirer has opened me up to hearing and seeing God more in my life.  In the book it is written, ” Often Jesus (God) wants to reveal important information to us, but our pride causes us to have preconceived notions that get in the way of our ability to hear what He is saying.”  It goes on to say, “Humility on the other hand clears the pathway for us to hear God because it keeps us open to the way God wants to speak and move in our lives.”

I think this chapter absolutely made me realize that I needed to drop any pride I was holding onto and become much more humble.  This is not the easiest thing to do.  I have been blessed with very great success very quickly with Grateful Gratitude and it was difficult for me not to boast about that success.

I did find when I became quiet and didn’t speak of the number of likes or followers on Facebook or how many countries have read my blog I witnessed more likes/followers on Facebook.  I quieted myself because He wants me to be humble and enjoy our success with Him.  I have also felt more satisfied and blessed by being quiet.

The book also says, “When we approach God humbly and bow down before Him, we put ourselves in a position to hear from Him.”  I totally agree and know this to be true.  I have practiced it sincerely and in my heart more so since reading this book.  I now ear from God many times through the day.

I also appreciate when the book says, ” Ministry is when the people who hear you don’t want more of you; they want more of Him because of what you said.”  Again this so relates to me.  There was a time in my life that I wanted everyone to see me.  Now I only want them to see Him in me and hunger more to know Him and His grace, mercy and blessings because I witness them every day.

All of my blessings come from God and His unconditional love for me.  I have turned my whole heart and life over to Him so I can serve and fulfill the plan he has blessed me with.  I have become so at ease with life and see the beautiful qualities in people and things that He has created.  Thank you God for allowing me to serve oters by knowing  Your grace and love.  I also have been healthier since relying only on God.  I suffered many years from anemia and weakness but now have a perfect blood count and so much more energy.

We have heard many times, “God doesn’t call the equipped, but He equips those He calls.  He will never ask you to do something He won’t enable you to accomplish.”  I again can testify to this.  When God called me to found Grateful Gratitude I knew nothing about writing blogs or doing podcast but He put it in my heart and the people I needed to accomplish these tasks in my life.  He has also equipped me with opportunities to have businesses sponsor workshops so we can keep our registration fee low.  He has help us reach over 100,000 people on Facebook when I would have been happy with 50.

God elevates our success so high that we know that only He can be responsible.  Weekly He adds new ideas to our ministry to reach more people through my dreams or meditation and He put my daughter in my life as my partner to know how to help facilitate all the ideas God sends me.

The last thing I will leave you with from this book is this.

“One of the best things you can do to worship

God single-mindedly is simply to accept

where you are and what He’s

doing for you right now.”

I pray you take the time to read this book for yourself and absorb the words so you can better hear God and enjoy is blessings.  Life for me has been so much more peaceful and blessed since quieting myself and opening heart to God’s words.  I have inserted a picture of the book cover for you below and please notice what I circled in yellow at the right of the picture.

love, blessings and gratitude for you, LoLo