Over the years I have been around many negative people that were naysayers and people that I felt I had to constantly try to please. A naysayer is a person that constantly objects, criticizes or is always objecting to anything you believe or do. These people always are negative and can tear you down in an instant with their words.
Let’s talk about people pleasing and why we need to stop catering to these people. When we are trying to please others before pleasing God we lose our quality of life. We become disabled in a world of constant change working to keep everybody happy. Let me just tell you right now, most of these people don’t know how to be happy. They aren’t able to recognize how to be happy so they are dragging others down.
When we become wrapped up in trying to please others we keep ourselves from seeing God’s purpose for us. As a people pleaser we are addicted to the approval of others. We spend all our times worrying about what will make others accept and like us. We feel empty if everyone isn’t happy with us.
1 Thessalonians 2:4
On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.
As I have said many times, God has a purpose and a plan for each of us and it is centered in Him, not earthy others. We need to remain in God. The people that can’t be satisfied with you are not in a place of knowing and understanding it’s all about God and not them. It’s okay that some people haven’t come to this place of understanding, we all get there at different speeds and times. Put yourself back in God’s light and love to do good by His Word.
Negativity from others will also keep you from growing in your faith. Negativity and people pleasing causes anxiety and worry which God does not want us to have. Your faith can’t be clear and concise when we are worried or anxious. Faith cannot reside where anxiety resides. Choose faith over anxiety by turning to God and praying for strength to know what He plans for you. When God becomes big in your life, people become small. What I mean by this is that those you are always trying to please begin to silence themselves or fall away when you are spending more time with our loving Father. As I grew closer to God people fell away from me but I was okay with God removing them.
How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?
Another very important argument against people pleasing is that when I am constantly reaching for others’ acceptance I am more tempted to sin. Peer pressure can be a very tough thing to overcome when you are a people pleaser. Remember Peter and Jesus? Peter said how much he loved Jesus and would never defy Him yet he denied him three times due to others opinions and fear.
My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them.
There is also hypocrisy galore when we are trying to be a people pleaser. We wear many masks and change our stance on many topics to keep others happy and confrontation at bay. I have learned so much from Pastor Rick Warren on the topic of integrity. Integrity means the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. Basically it means our character and what we stand for. Have God number one in your life so you will not have to flip flop your ideas and opinions. We are his number one so why not reciprocate that in love and make Him our number one? I always think of the saying, “I am number two”.
You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: “‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.'”
The important thing to recognize about naysayers is that they are almost always a family member or trusted confidant. Hard to believe that the people that should love you the most can be the ones tearing you down the most. This may be a parent that wanted you to be the star athlete and although you made first string you weren’t the top player so that wasn’t good enough. I want you to know right now, no matter what you do or did would never be good enough with that person. These people are struggling with their own inadequacies and can’t see good in others. This is their struggle not yours. I am sorry they treat you like you are not good enough when you are perfect in God’s eyes.
There are some things I would like to share with you to allow you to break free from the hold others have on you and any need you feel to please. You will have peace and joy in your life if you follow these few suggestions.
I want you to remember even our Heavenly Father can’t please everyone. People curse God for their problems even though they have free will to be happy if they would choose to be. Also, you would have no true and firm beliefs if everyone liked you because you would be always changing them. God gives everyone His unconditional Love and people choose to embrace and receive that love or to live in society and it’s conformity.
I only need God’s approval and no one else’s. When I began Grateful Gratitude I was worried what people would think of me speaking out so strongly about my love and gratitude for God. We have seen society has turned away from walking in faith and have a strong distrust for those preaching the gospel. Would they turn against me after building up my strong reputation of being a smart and ethical business woman? I realized I didn’t care. God put a purpose and a ministry in my heart and I had much more peace with that than worrying about anyone’s opinion to me. It has been eighteen months and I have had some come against me on social media but I don’t respond I just charge forward. Only God can meet all my needs.
“By myself I can do nothing. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is true because I do not live to please myself but to do the will of the Father who sent me.”
We have become addicted to 24 hour news feeds on TV and in social media and that is not good. We have access to stories true and untrue constantly effecting how we think. This gives us constant focus on sensational news stories or the perfect life everyone has on social media which leads to negativity. Have you ever searched for a product online because you are curious and then it pops up on all your feeds? Please remember today’s story is just that today’s story tomorrow there will be another today’s story. We need to understand the more we move away from reality TV, gossip, sensationalism and highlighting every moment in others lives the better we become.
I heard once people strive for fame and popularity to only obtain it and hide behind dark glasses. They wanted to be liked and popular so badly that they are miserable once they have it.
He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.
We only need to live for an audience of ONE and it is God. When you are people pleasing you are putting others before God and that is idolatry. You are breaking the second commandment when you worship other things than our Lord. Make this your motivator to stop people pleasing.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Every time I am upset because someone has attacked me or derogated my ministry I take a deep breath and say, “I am only here to please God and He has given me this ministry and no one will bring me down!” Stand strong, know you are a child of God above and beyond earthy behavior. May you feel God’s blessings each and every day. LoLo