Gratitude Through Anxiety

You know the old saying, “When it rains it pours!” I can easily apply it to stress leading to anxiety.  It may be an unexpected financial crisis, a spouse walking out or a family member being diagnosed with a medical emergency.

I struggle with anxiety.  I have for many years.  This past week I have been struggling with keeping anxiety at bay.  I have been run through the wringer with stressor after stressor.  Each time I think that was the end of it something else hits.

One night I woke up every half hour praying.  I needed relief from what I was feeling.  My mind raced with doubts, fear, worries and everything I preach about keeping out of my life.  I would wake in a sweat with panic coming over me.  “Heavenly Father please protect me and guide me on these things that are controlling my thoughts.”

I said this prayer several different ways for around 14 times as I tried to sleep.  I then said another prayer.  “Father you are Almighty full of grace and mercy.  No one or no thing is more powerful than You and I place all my trust in You”  Each time I prayed it I felt it more sincerely.  “No one is more powerful than You my Father and you will protect me from any enemy.  I will be stronger with You.”

I didn’t sleep that night except for the 12-16 minutes in between prayers.  The next day I was exhausted but felt at peace.  I tried to be thankful through the day and pray for continued strength and faith.

That night I went to bed very tired hoping for a better night.  I fell asleep quickly but woke up not 30 minutes later.  I prepared myself to pray but felt at ease and no need for my desperate prayer.  I looked at the clock  one time I woke up and it was 2:11 am.  I was comforted as I explain later in this blog.

I only awoke three times that night.  No sweating or panic feelings.  When I did awake, I thanked God for his love and support.

When I woke to start my daily routine I had the fullest heart.  I proceeded through my day without the anxiety.  The same stress was there but I had the feeling everything was being cared for by God.  I knew the things I stressed about were out of my control so God was handling it and comforting me.

I also feel when I am more stressed like when my mom had to have immediate heart surgery or my dad was diagnosed with cancer I have to stop and pray.  I prayed for my Heavenly Father to hold them in his loving hands and care for them.  I prayed to give my full trust to Him and I know He has the resolution that is meant to be.  His plan, not mine.

I have had news like this last week and I had to retrain myself to place full trust in God.  To tell myself I know God is all loving and doesn’t want us to hurt and He has never let me down.  When my mom had heart surgery God blessed with a very talented heart surgeon.  When my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer, MD Anderson was doing research on bladder cancer with amazing results.   My mom’s surgery was over 4 years ago and my dad is 2 1/2 years cancer free.  God didn’t let me down, He protected my family.

I know with this new stress He will stand by my side the whole way.  I feel like he is assuring me everything will be alright.  There will be a time of difficulty but things will be fine in the end.

I feel connected to God through the content He has placed in my heart and if you have read some of my other blogs you know I believe in angel numbers.  An angel number is a number you see repeatedly throughout the day.  I always see the number eleven on the clock (like 7:11, 2:11, 5:11) or today it has been 222.  I saw it on my iPad this afternoon so I reference my angel number book (Angel Numbers 101 by Doreen Virtue) and when you see 222 it means:

“Trust that everything is working out exactly as it is supposed to, with Devine blessings for everyone involved.  Let go and have faith”

This was the comfort I needed and I feel that these are signals from God.  Signals reminding me He is in control and by me.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”  Hebrews 11:1

I know we all lose sight some days and we need that reminder that God can face things we can’t imagine and He will take care of all of us.  If you are suffering now with stress or anxiety please be at peace knowing that handing it to our Almighty Father that He will not let us down.  We are human and this is a tough thing to do but trust in our Father.

I pray every day for those following Grateful Gratitude on any of our social media platforms, podcast or this blog.  I pray for God to touch you, heal you and allow you to feel the love He has for you.  Always know someone else is always praying for you.  My love and gratitude for you-LoLo

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