Remaining Calm When Someone You Love is Suffering

There will be days that the people you love will be suffering and having difficulty finding peace in their lives.  It is very important that we remain calm to comfort others.

We feel that if our friends or family members have health issues or marital problems that we need to intervene and “solve” all of their problems.  I am here to say, “Step  back, breathe and let God take over.”

As humans we feel the need to correct and control everything.  The sooner we learn that we cannot control others or their situations the better off we will be.  Now me being a mother, wife, daughter, grandmother, board member, friend, business woman, etc I wear many hats. When I have these hats on I always feel like I am in a leadership position and should be problem solving for everyone.  I tend to think my years of experience make me the best person to solve issues and give advice.  My experiences do help but I am not in control.  I do realize that.

I am a better person when I trust that God will handle any problem and I am to remain still and silent.  Let’s  think about it.  Have you ever not had God intervene and take care of you or your loved ones?  I haven’t.  He has always been there for me.

I once had a family member that was suffering terribly with OCD and anxiety.  I was so worried and distraught over the situation.  There was no way I could control the situation because I was not the one suffering.  I was standing by as my family member suffered.

Each day she seemed to get a bit worse.  I didn’t have an understanding of how debilitating this would be for her.  Minutes seemed like hours for her. He mind would never rest.   It broke my heart.

After about five days of watching her struggle, I sat on my back patio and prayed.  “God I don’t understand why we are going through this incredibly dark time but I trust in you.  Please Lord help me to understand and release this to you.”  After praying for quite a bit of time, I looked on Pinterest for quotes regarding God’s grace and mercy.  I must have read and pinned one hundred and fifty pins about remaining faithful during dark times.  Each time I found a pin stating God’s grace I felt a small bit of the worry lift off of me.

I again said, “This is it God, I know you will handle this according to your plan and I trust in You.”  I then went to bed and slept like a baby for the first time in a week.

When I awoke the next morning and was laying in bed before getting up I had a realization.  I had learned from another board member that our local hospital has an outpatient program that deals with all types of mental health issues.  My family member’s condition could be addressed if she would go and get help.  It hit me like a bolt of lightening.  God’s intervention.

I dropped into the center to ask a few questions  and to see if they accepted our health insurance.  Something ironic is that at the beginning of the year my husband’s insurance coverage had changed and we went from having no mental health coverage to full treatment coverage.  A blessing from God.

The people at the center were very kind and helpful.  They asked me to bring my family member back to meet them and to see if she would be open to outpatient treatment.  I was able to get her to the center with her husband and she said she would start treatment in a few days.  As we were pulling away from the center she looked up and said said, “I am going to conquer this!”  Thank you again God!

She began treatment a few days later and it was a very excruciating process.  She had group therapy with others that had some very severe mental issues and it was hard for her to hear all of their problems as well as talk about her own.

She did continue to go several more days and she had access to a very good psychiatrist that prescribed a combination of two medicines that would correct the chemical imbalance her brain was suffering from.

The medication she was given would take three to four weeks to stabilize before she would feel better, maybe longer.  Each day I worried and was so stressed as to what the outcome of this condition would be.  It was a waiting process that required much prayer.

As each day passed, I slowly saw her feel better and smile again.  I guess I should have told you earlier that she was also pregnant at this time so this added to the limited medications that could be used and the strength in which they could be used.  Pregnancy hormones on top of anxiety and OCD was a rough combination.

She was discharged from the center and they recommended a therapist for her to see as well as instructed her to see her regular psychiatrist.  Once again I checked our health insurance benefits and they would pay all of the expenses for the therapist for eight visits and all but $125 for the psychiatrist.

The insurance change was such a blessing and God was guiding the HR director that switched our plan at the beginning of the year  since God knew we would need mental health coverage.  The final bill for the week and a half treatment was almost $9,000 and our insurance paid all but $1400.  Thank you, thank you, thank you God!

I recognized that the moment I turned everything over to God I knew He would give us the answer.  There have been several times in my life I have fully surrendered myself to God and he has taken much better care of me that I could have done myself.

God knows what path he wants us to walk along and for what reasons.   It is not for us to decide or control.

I now sit on a Board of Directors that fundraises and educated the public on mental health issues.  We are currently raising money to train families on how to recognize the symptoms of mental health in others so help can be obtained quickly.  Mental health issues are not just bipolar and schizophrenia, it is substance abuse, postpartum depression, anxiety and many other conditions not normally thought of.

There is no doubt in my mind that God had us walk this dark path to only serve Him and others through mental health awareness.  Although it was a tough time, I am so grateful God took care of us and allowed us to grow even closer with Him.  May our journey and service help many people get the help they need and help understand they are not alone.  We are all in this together.   love, peace and gratitude

Jesus relied, ” You don’t understand what I am doing now but someday you will.”  John  13:7

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