I am a very opinionated person. I have always been this way. My opinions really were judgment calls. In fact, the dictionary defines an opinion as a belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof. I see that definition of opinion as being a very weak view. I think of opinionated as extremely strong. I guess the definition is true; people cling to their opinions, whether substantiated or not.
I do a lot of research before I teach a class. I dig deep to know what I am teaching is a fact, not an opinion; if someone questions my subject, I can substantiate it. I never want to be questioned and have egg on my face. How, you may ask, does this have anything to do with God telling me to shut my mouth? Let me explain.
We are coming to the end of 2022, and many of us are reflecting on what changes we want to make in the New Year. I feel God telling me to quiet myself. You may think God always tells us to be silent and wait, but that’s not what I feel. I feel he really wants me to shut up for a bit. God is not that rough on me, but I need to consider His urging as abrupt. I need to zip it for a bit.
If you are a regular reader of my blog or watch my Youtube channel, you know I am very passionate about my love for God. My faith sometimes speaks freely without a filter. This faith ignites in me, especially when someone is misquoting the Bible. Let me give you some examples.
One day I was sitting with a group of people, and we began talking about Jesus. A man at the table said, “Jesus was just a man; don’t you think he had girlfriends and urges like I do?”. My head snapped around to see who could ask such a question. Who could be so stupid, I thought, then I breathed. “Jesus is God incarnate, He would never have girlfriends or your urges. When, and if He did have urges, He would resist temptation.”, I responded. How could this guy not know this? “Incarnate? What is that?”, he asked. I then realized that I was judging someone for what they didn’t know instead of educating him on Jesus. Girl, this would have been a good time to shut your mouth.
James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
I’ll give you another example. I was talking to a pastor at a local church that I had heard say the Bible is open for interpretation and is only a guide on how to live life. He felt it was inspired by God, but since it was recorded by man, there was room for much error. Ugh, my heart sank. I believe in the Bible 110%, whether the stories of the Old Testament are allegorical or true happenings. I trust the words and lessons revealed in those stories. I became more argumentative since I felt he should represent God’s Word correctly. Again, I’m sure God was shaking His head and thinking, “Girl, shut your mouth!”.
Proverbs 13:3 Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.
When God strongly urges me to “shut” my mouth, He says to extend grace. I fail at giving grace when I become forceful or loud regarding my faith. These are opportunities to show who God is by listening and being silent. I feel Him gently saying, “Teach, don’t correct with frustration.” His gentleness is what I first felt when I was pulled to Him, and I should practice this gentleness. “Be humble, for you did not know until you studied.” Impactful.
As of last week, I have begun “shutting” my mouth when I would normally jump to my feet to let someone know they were wrong. I feel the Holy Spirit say over and over in my heart, “Grace, girl, grace.”. It calms me, and I recognize that it is more impactful to be silent after someone’s comment than to be right.
May God bless you and bless you each and every day. LoLo
Psalm 141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Christmas is fast approaching, and as it does, I am reflecting on Mary and Joseph. I think about Mary being a young girl with an angel appearing and totally uprooting her life. Joseph was a man that thought everything was fine. He was betrothed to someone he loved, and an angel would appear to him too. They were chosen. Chosen in a way they never expected. I feel that way too.
Almost five years ago, I sat at the desk I am sitting at now, pecking at my keyboard and blogging for the first time. I am no wordsmith, nor did I know how to blog, but God chose me that day to start this ministry. I felt the conviction to write that first blog and trusted He would handle who would be the readers. I didn’t know what would become of it, but on March 12, 2018, I wrote that blog and sent it to the world.
I love to blog, even though my grammar is not very good. I am organic in my writing as it comes straight from my heart. I write anything that is on my mind and reveal everything. Though I love writing, God has placed emphasis in my ministry this Christmas on serving others. In the last 10 days, I have been all over our community serving others in HUGE ways that only God can facilitate.
Christmas 2020 was truly a turning point in my life. I had been asked to help out a victim of a very violent crime. I kept the letter I wrote her to encourage her. Though I don’t remember the specifics of her case, I remember God placing me in her path. I removed her name for her privacy. This is the letter.
Dear (Deleted),
I feel so blessed that (Deleted) and I are friends and have this opportunity to show you how special you are.
I had to leave an exceedingly difficult marriage with my small daughter in tow. My first husband abused alcohol and methamphetamine. He quit working, never came home, and had several girlfriends. I did not know God or Jesus then, so I struggled to figure everything out on my own. I was able to free myself and my daughter, Lexie, from this horrible marriage, and together, she and I accepted Jesus as our Savior and was baptized and added God to our daily lives. Fast forward to 2 ½ years ago when God stopped my day and placed my ministry in my heart. A ministry to anchor people to God’s love by holding a gratitude heart and practicing gratitude every day.
I want you to know that before coming to Christ, I was buried in the world’s ways. I spent every penny I made on material things. I was not full (I thought) without showing wealth to others. I was over $41,000 in debt on my credit cards, and I was drowning in debt. A debt I hid from my current husband. One day God laid it on my heart that I had to confess my sin of overspending to God Himself and to my husband. I cried and prayed all day, and when my husband came home, I confessed my sin of overspending. I expected him to leave me but instead, He offered me grace and said we would pay off the debt together and never speak of it again. Then, I realized that grace was much more important than what I bought.
I want you to know that even though I don’t know you except that you are a single mom and your first name is (DELETED), I know you are beautiful and a child of God. He specifically made you and loves you unconditionally. He wants you to turn to Him in good times and in bad times for the guidance you seek. I want you to know that God always stays with us through every walk and season and brings us out better if we can be patient and grateful for our blessings. Walk through each season growing closer to God and trusting in your faith in Jesus.
The gifts and money you are receiving are from my friends and family. We want you to know that even though we are strangers, we care about you and your children. I know someday you will be doing the same for another single mom. I know this because someone did this for me when I only had $37 to provide Christmas for Lexie. Someone came forward and surprised me with kindness. I want to bless you, too, with God’s love and human kindness.
I am praying daily for you. I carry a small blue heart with your name, and I pray for you often. I put a small blue heart in this envelope with my name on it so you can carry it and remember I am praying for you.
Please keep this Bible verse in your heart: Psalm 46:5 “God is within her; she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”
My love and gratitude to you, LoLo Christmas 2020
This simple, heartfelt letter and gifts transformed my heart and led me to follow God’s plan. This Christmas, just 2 years later, there were no anonymous letters to write but truly to be in the trenches because there was work to be done.
Just 10 days ago, I stood in our county courthouse with families that lost a loved one to violent crimes. Everyone in the room was in pain and grieving. I handed out tiny peace angels to each family member. I approached each family member gently and said to each of them, “I am so sorry to meet you here for this reason, but I want to gift you this peace angel. They are hand carved in Kenya, and I pray that you find peace when you hold it.” I gifted 65 that day. The one thing I noticed about each person receiving the peace angel was a small smile of HOPE in each of them.
This emotional day was followed by gifting Christmas Blessings to fifteen families that were victims of violent crime in our community or had no HOPE of having a Christmas for their family this year. I reached out to my donors in the community with a very long list of items I needed to fulfill Christmas Blessings. It was a matter of a few days and my house was filling up with gifts donated by our community for these families. My husband joked that if I did this again next year, I would have to get a storage unit. There were bikes, clothes, games, toys, perfume, books, art supplies, shoes, coats, and so much more. I asked for laundry baskets filled with cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, tampons, laundry soap, dryer sheets, bars of soap, and other miscellaneous items. The families would be relieved of buying essential items for a few months with these baskets. Each family received gift cards for groceries and gasoline. I prayed over each bag of gifts for the families receiving them for a new start in the New Year.
Finally, two days ago, I was honored to be at an event to celebrate Christmas with the homeless. I had no idea how big this event would be, but when I looked at the temperature that morning, I knew it would be freezing cold. The temperature was 31 degrees here in Texas. I began layering on my clothing so I could keep warm. It would have been easy to call and say I couldn’t make it and stay warm, but I knew our homeless friends couldn’t do that.
When I arrived at the event, the wind blew, and I tried moving around to stay warm. As guests started arriving many were bundled in blankets to keep warm. One of the partner sponsors for the event brought a hot chocolate bar from a company called Lattes on Location. This was brilliant and extremely popular with our homeless friends. She also coordinated food from Olive Garden, which was very popular and filling. I always pick up the dirty dishes and sit with our homeless community. I want to hear their stories that I find are not the typical stories of addiction but stories of a twist of fate. Stories include a home that burned down without insurance, a divorce that pushed a mom and kids out of the family home, and someone being scammed out of their life savings. They are people just like you and me trying to bridge the gap.
The first two hours of the event went by very fast. I noticed that the wind had stopped blowing, the sun was shining brightly, and the temperature was now up to 50 degrees. It was such a beautiful day. Here are a few pictures.
I am humbled by the work God puts in my path and the people that help me do this work. Although I have no idea why he chose me, I am honored He did. I pray this holiday season, you feel God’s love and blessings. My gratitude to you-LoLo
It’s been over four years since I started Grateful Gratitude. I knew that God was calling me to be a better, more grateful person and thought I was just in this to better myself. I had no idea He was going to use me in ways I had never imagined or thought would be conceivable for me.
I soon realized after founding Grateful Gratitude that it wasn’t God trying to grow me by practicing more gratitude but that He was drawing me into His plan to serve Him. I thought I was the least likely person to be able to minister to others. I didn’t know the Bible inside and out, and I barely knew The Gospels. How was I going to minister? I had no training. Although, I did know and understand 1 Peter 4:10.
1 Peter 4:10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace
Yes, each has received a gift. What was my gift? What was God’s plan for me? I didn’t know. As I began navigating my new nonprofit, I saw God revealing His plan and my gift. He opened my eyes and I understood.
Ephesians 1:18 Having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
I realized my gift was not just one special talent God gave me but it was many experiences in my life that allowed me the gift of ministry. Let me explain.
I knew there were many unpleasant things that had happened in my life. Many of these walks were before I understood God’s love for me and His intentions of using me. I sat down and made a list of all the experiences I have walked through just mainly for my own knowledge. Below is the list.
I was the wife of a man that was an alcoholic and addicted to methamphetamine.
I am an alcoholic and sober for 6 years.
I am a woman who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.
I am the daughter of parents that have had cancer.
I am the daughter of a father that died from pancreatic cancer.
I am a divorced woman.
I am a woman that had an addiction to spending money recklessly.
I am a mother of a child with ADD, anxiety, and OCD.
I am a woman that was obese for many years.
I am a woman that struggled with self-esteem.
I am a woman that strongly speaks her mind.
In the Bible Jesus said, I AM.” We have to understand who Jesus is to understand who we are. Jesus spoke the I AMs and I had to speak mine too to find my purpose and ministry.
Just as Jesus laid out each statement and explained each one I needed to do the same so I can serve God here through my life experiences. I also had to realize that even though these things are in my past they are still who I am and not a past tense of my life. No matter what walk I have been through, I am still that person, wiser but just the same it is still my identity and my ministry.
I am the ex-wife of a man that was an alcoholic and addicted to methamphetamine. This was a very dark time in my life. I lived every day in darkness and fear. What would my husband do that day? Would he be under the influence and kill someone as he drove dazed and confused from the drugs? Would he stay at another woman’s house instead of coming home to his family? Would he sit and pick at his hands because he thought worms were under his skin? I didn’t know but living through that marriage now allows me to help women experiencing the same problems.
I am an alcoholic and have been sober for 6 years. I will tell you that I never had formal treatment for my addiction to alcohol but I did make a promise to God that has kept me sober. My use of alcohol started as an occasional glass of wine with dinner or socially. As I became unhappy with my weight and appearance I turned to alcohol to allow me to forget about my displeasure. I noticed that at 4:00 pm I started pouring a glass of wine as if it was just part of my daily routine. The 10 ounces occasionally were now a 750ML bottle on most days. I overdrank one afternoon and I decided to get in my car and drive home drunk. I prayed over and over as I drove that if God got me home safely I would never drink again. I said I knew I had a problem that I need Him to help with and I would be obedient if He answered that prayer.
I am a woman who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. My anxiety and panic attacks began after I was divorced. My marriage had failed and I was so ashamed and fearful I would lose something else in my life. The only thing I had left was my daughter. I became a “helicopter mom” which means a mom that “hovers” over their child. I was the room mother at school, the mom volunteer at dance, and I was the mom that would do anything needed that involved my daughter’s outside activities. I was so fearful something would happen to her that I wanted to always be present. This fear led to constant anxiety. Once I understood God’s love for me I was able to let my daughter be free to live her life her way. I now know God is watching over her and would protect her.
I am the daughter of a father that died from pancreatic cancer. The walk with a family member with cancer is a tough walk but pancreatic cancer is a really tough one. This type of cancer is aggressive and unpredictable. My dad got his diagnosis on a telemedicine call during the pandemic. The doctor’s first words were, “I am sorry I have to tell you this but, you have pancreatic cancer.”. It broke my heart, my dad was going to die. I cried my eyes out and then took a deep breath and realized that God had told me that I had time with my dad. I felt God in my heart urging me to enjoy each second of every day with my dad. I looked daily for something to be grateful for during this walk. I memorized my dad’s smile, enjoyed conversations with him over coffee, and at the end told him I wanted him to be welcoming me into Heaven when it was my time to go.
I could go on with my I AM explanations but the most important message I have to share is this:
Use your life and experiences to minister to others. Testify how God has brought you through each experience. Show others that you are still standing and they will be too. Encourage others to trust in God. I did and He still stands by me in every situation.
I also knew that no matter the experience or outcome it was my history. I learned to not be shamed by my trials but to show gratitude in each situation. My marriage brought my daughter. Quitting drinking improved my physical and mental health. Trusting in God brought peace to my anxiety. Understanding cancer better helps me understand how diet and exercise help reduce cancer risks.
I pray you see your ministry in your difficult times and know that God has asked you to walk with Him on this earth experiencing His purpose for your life. Each day see others and strengthen them through His love for you. My love and gratitude-LoLo
Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
“As a follower of Christ, hope is within us even when we don’t feel it.” I heard these words and they hung in the air before me. I stopped and sat as if I was frozen in time.
Pete Wilson of Northridge Church spoke on hope at a time I needed the words he shared. He said, “Hope is a simple concept that no matter what is happening, you have the belief it will get better.” Powerful. I have always believed that hope leads to faith. If I truly believe genuinely that my situation will get better then the door of faith opens. Faith is placing my trust in God. All my trust.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Pete moved on to say that hope requires growth. I understand this. There have been so many times I have been riddled with anxiety and worry. I was so fearful of not being able to control my situation. I would almost make myself sick overanalyzing and thinking of plan B. C, D for how I would control things. Then a wake of peace came over me. God’s peace reminds me I am not in control. God is.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
The last few weeks have been tough. I stood again at the hospital with a sick parent. Another time that life stopped and I prayed constantly for healing. Healing for my mom, healing for my ministry, healing for my family. God, I know you heard my prayers. How are You going to grow me in this situation? How will You pull me closer to You and deepen my relationship with you in this illness?
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Every time I go through these hospital walks, once with my dad with pancreatic cancer, once with my granddaughter with gastroschisis, and now with my mom with a severe vaccine reaction, I reach for God’s hand. I know He is near and I draw on hope to get me through. I sit at the bedside praying and pulling peace from God’s love I recognize that He is with me. I remember another one of God’s promises.
Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
God is always one step ahead of me. He knows where I am going and He prepares the way. He never stops and moves to the side for me to pass Him. He never expects me to go it alone. This gives me hope. Hope that leads to faith. Faith that leads to peace.
Pete went on to remind us of Acts 2:42-47. It was a time when Jesus had died yet the small group of followers was full of hope. Jesus had told them that He would be gone and they continued to focus on growth. Growth of new members, growth in their love, and God’s truth. They pulled together at the most difficult time. Jesus was gone and they were few.
Acts 2:42-47 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Hopelessness is crippling and if we fall into hopelessness we lose the biggest gift God gives us. The gift of peace in our lives. God is Our loving Father. He wants the best for us and when it’s not the best, He wants us to lean on Him. I am leaning Father. I am taking a deep breath before I pray to clear my mind and open my heart. I am handing over my problems to You and I am hoping in faith and knowledge that You will take them. You have so many times before and I am grateful. You are my refuge.
Psalm 121:1-4 reminds me of how I always need to focus on God and know He never takes a break. He never shuts an eye or falls asleep leaving me to fend for myself.
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The other day my husband and I were driving in a significantly heavy downpour of rain. I could barely see past the windshield. I stated that I thought we should pull over until the rain stopped and he said no we needed to move on. After about 20 minutes of driving in this torrential rain, we reached our destination. I realized that my husband was focused on getting us to our destination. Just like the walk I am taking right now, I need to stay focused on God. I can’t see tomorrow but the focus on God will have me arrive as He moves ahead of me. He knows my destination through this rain.
Everyone quotes Jeremiah 29:11 but I quote Jeremiah 29:11-13. It is more complete.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Thank you once again for meeting me here. I pray you know God’s peace and that you practice hope which will lead you to faith. My love and gratitude-LoLo
October seems to be a tough month for my family. Last October we were stationed at the hospital with my dad battling pancreatic cancer followed by hospice at home and then his funeral. This October I am staying with my mom after a severe vaccine reaction 13 days ago.
It was a beautiful October day on Tuesday the 12th. Mom and I went to her internist for her yearly visit and he remarked that she was in such good condition and was pleased she was still living independently. She decided that since we were at UT Southwestern that she would get her vaccine boosters and check that off her to-do list. We finished the vaccines and enjoyed Starbucks on the way home.
At approximately 7pm my mom texted me asking if my boosters make me weak and dizzy. I responded that I was just a little sore but nothing else. She said she was tired and would probably go to bed earlier than normal to rest.
The next morning I was at my daughter’s house watching my grandkids for the day when at 9:12 am my mom called me and all I hear is moaning on the other end. I kept saying “MOM!” over and over and she didn’t reply. I called her right back and she answered saying, “I’m too weak to talk, okay?” and put the phone down.
I immediately called my husband and ask him to come right away to sit with our grandkid because I needed to check on my mom. He arrived about 25 minutes later which seemed like an eternity which led to another eternity getting to my mom’s house.
I arrived as quickly as I safely could and multitasked on the drive calling my brother in Illinois as to what was happening. I said if she didn’t look good I was calling the paramedics to transport her. As I opened her front door, I called out to her but there was no answer. I ran up the stairs to her bedroom calling her name. As I approached the bed, I saw my mom pale and weak. She had difficulty speaking and she couldn’t lift herself out of bed.
I told my mom we needed to call the paramedics to look at her and possibly go to the hospital. My husband notified me he had reached our son-in-law to watch the kids and he was on his way. Once he arrived we were able to convince my mom that she needed medical help and I dialed 911.
It was only a few minutes when the paramedics arrived and determined that mom was dehydrated, too weak to get out of bed, and needed to be transported to the hospital. This was the beginning of an ordeal we are still walking through.
We sat in the ER for hours as a CT Scan was run, blood was collected, questions were asked, documents were signed, and so on as we all know what the ER visits bring. As I sat in the ER treatment room while mom was having a CT Scan I saw something I had never seen before. It was a police processional with a casket covered in the American flag. There were 2 officers before the casket, many family members following the casket, and officers behind the family closing out the processional. I am sure they didn’t realize our treatment room door was open with me inside. I realized this was the police officer that had been hit by the drunk driver just a few days before. It broke my heart. My husband’s sister was killed by a drunk driver when he was 16.
I immediately began praying for the family and officers that we now grieving. I knew their grief from losing my dad just a year ago. I prayed for their peace and comfort and strength as a family to support each other. I also said a prayer again for about the hundredth time for my mom’s healing and recovery.
No one else saw the procession, not my husband, not my mom, but I knew God had me see it for a reason. It allowed me to pray for others I did not know and in gratitude, for the help my mom was receiving.
I spent all night with mom in her room catching vomit time after time. She was so nauseous. The day after my mom was moved from ER to a hospital room things became very scary. My mom slept all day and when I tried to ask her questions she just rolled her eyes open, mumbled, and went right back to sleep. This lasted about 10 hours straight. She slept through ultrasounds, chest X-rays, and multiple blood draws. Hours went by without any movement but with constant unconscious moans.
My aunt and uncle saw that my husband and I needed help juggling life, his work, and being at the hospital 24/7. I am so grateful they came to sleep at the hospital with mom so I could be in my own bed for a few nights.
Mom slowly began to be awake more but wouldn’t really eat much. Her arm was swelling from the IV and when they placed the IV they hit a nerve causing a “Trigger Finger”, and losing the ability for her middle finger on her left hand to move freely. Her finger would lock either in an open or closed position and she would have to manually “unlock” it with her right hand. This continues to this day.
We spent several days at the hospital as mom received treatment for the reaction.
We began to see the doctors all say that mom was medically fine and just suffered from the vaccine reaction. She would need rehab to correct the weakness that still lingered after laying in a hospital bed for 6 days. My husband, uncle, and I went to tour an inpatient rehab facility to move my mom to so she could finish rehabbing for a week. The facility was nice and I could stay overnight with her so we spoke to the social worker to begin the paperwork and transport. Then came the craziest news I have ever heard. “We are sorry but Medicare declined your mom for inpatient rehab. She is too healthy and her stay would be too short.”
Oh my goodness, denied help to rehab????? This now became a family endeavor to do PT, OT, and nursing care at home. We learned with my dad that we are not trained nor capable of doing this care. We have no option, we will have to do this. I never thought a hospital would say that someone is too well to stay even though they wouldn’t get out of bed or walk or care for them but this was the case.
So home we went and here I sit blogging. This road ahead of us will take some time but if you know me at all I am confident in my faith that God is with us. I have found through this journey God has given me a tender heart in caring for my mom as she cared for me as a baby. I am releasing my daily obligations to be present for my family. Just as Jesus cared for all while on this earth I will do the same.
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ
As I see this tornado circling around me I remember Jesus’ words in the Bible about the Holy Spirit blowing in. I know His wind will push out this tornado and produce a rainbow for me.
John 3:8 The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Thank you for reading my blog and may God bless you today. My love and gratitude, LoLo
gratefulgratitude.net 