So, it has been quite a while since I have posted a blog. There are many reasons for this, but the main reason is my friend and podcast producer passed away unexpectedly on October 1st. Mark Friedman believed in Grateful Gratitude before I knew what Grateful Gratitude would be.
I am floundering to figure out how to continue my podcast since Mark was usually present to banter with me when I recorded. I would always walk into his studio, and he’d always have something he “needed” counseling on (his words, not mine). He wanted my opinion on someone he “liked” (as if we were in high school). It could have been that he wanted to challenge me on my knowledge of the Bible or even talk sports, although I knew nothing about sports. He made every session comfortable and thought-provoking.
As I contemplate this Christmas without podcasts with Mark, my thoughts turn to a beautiful Christmas song, “Mary, Did You Know” by Mark Lowry. The lyrics ring more repeatedly this year than any other year. I wake up with the lyrics swirling in my head at 3 am. Why is this, and how does it relate to Mark “Friedo” Friedman?
It dawned on me that Mark would always say to me, “Hey, did you know…..”? Every session in the studio or any time I ran into him, he would always ask me that question, followed by a random question. I imagine all his friends heard this often, too.
Now that Mark is gone, I reflect on some of those questions. Mark asked me a few profound questions. One was, “Hey, did you know that I think I had a near-death experience when I was in my coma?” Of course, I did not know this at the time. He proceeded to tell me cryptic bits of what he recalled when he lay in a coma that he thought he may have been dying. I studied heaven when my dad was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. I taught a class on heaven and passing away Mark had attended after he was released from the hospital. I think he felt I might be able to help him understand his experience. This opened the door to more conversations about passing away and going to heaven. May I just say that Mark was not afraid to die and knew the promise of heaven?
Three days before Mark passed away, I went to his studio to record, and as soon as I hit the door, he said, “Hey, did you know I am having more of those experiences we talked about? Do you have time to hang around and talk about them?” Unfortunately, we got off-topic and never had that conversation. Later that afternoon, I remembered I hadn’t discussed the experiences he mentioned. Like many, I stowed it away to talk to Mark about the next time I saw him.
Sunday evening, just three days later, I received the text that Mark had passed away. I was stunned at first and thought the same thought most people had, “I just saw him!” This caused my mind to race and relive the session we just had. He looked great, better than he had all year. He usually was jaundiced, but his eyes were clear and bright white that day. I said to him, “You look great. Better than I can remember.” He laughed and said, “You wouldn’t think that if you saw my blood panels.”
Laying in bed that Sunday night, I dozed off but awoke suddenly around 3 am. A conversation with Mark last spring hit me like a ton of bricks. I arrived early for a lunch meeting, and Mark and my friend Justin were at the restaurant talking. The restaurant was quiet and empty. I hadn’t seen Mark in several weeks. I asked him how he was, and he flippantly said, “Hey, did you know I was in the hospital recently?” “No, how would I know that?” I responded.
Mark looked me in the eyes and said, “Yeah, I was, and the doctors say I have six months to live.” Mark was always kidding, so I responded, “Oh, shut up. That’s not true.”
Mark brushed it off and changed the subject. Mark is such a private person; I would have never expected him to share something like that. Back to “Mary, Did You Know,” why is it haunting me this holiday? It wasn’t mainly the Christmas song, but the words, “Did You know”?
That phrase, “did you know,” brings me back to Mark. It brings me back to that last session when he rallied and looked healthy.
There is an article I read about why people rally before dying. This is what is said:
It is completely normal for someone to rally before passing away. Despite being somewhat shocking to family members, this last-minute surge of energy or clarity can help the individual say their goodbyes, reflect on their life, and process what is happening to them. It helps your loved one tie up loose ends and may give them a sense of control when it comes to their death. This can be particularly healing for those who have sought treatments for illnesses but to no avail.
I feel that Mark knew my faith and that hearing the three little words, “Did you know?” would remind me how special he was. How he believed in me when I didn’t believe in me. This is our last podcast together. Mark, I did not know this would be our last podcast, but I greatly thank you for being there on this day.
Thank you for reading this blog post, and please look up for one minute to say hi to Mark and know he is with Jesus.
gratefulgratitude.net 