Gratitude Archive

Cancer sucks. It’s invasive, it’s aggressive, it’s relentless, it has a mind of its own, it comes to destroy. I personally am surrounded by cancer and have been deeply entrenched in it this past year. I constantly have people asking me to pray for their friends because they have been diagnosed with cancer. My prayer list is long and it is growing longer every day.

I love my dad and my dad has cancer. A nasty and mean cancer. We have had many ups and downs during this walk. Many lab tests, scans, hospital visits, a blood transfusion, telemedicine calls that were too many to count. We have consulted with specialists, surgeons, radiation specialists, and so on. Cancer consumes our lives right now.

As a gratitude coach there are some days that I struggle with this walk. I am the “eternal optimist” some say but today is a tough day. Twice my dad has received weeks of chemo infusions that helped shrink the cancer and even remove it from one of his organs. The problem was his quality of life was awful. He was weak without an appetite, he couldn’t touch cold objects, he developed neuropathy and couldn’t feel his feet. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I prayed for God to take the cancer away, to please gift my dad a miracle. This wasn’t God’s plan at this time. The cancer is still here but God did send a miracle for a short time. My dad has a BRCA 2 mutation which only 3-7% of pancreatic cancer patients have. This allowed my dad to take a new oral chemo that showed promise to slow or halt the progression of the cancer. While we didn’t get that result, some of my dad’s tumors shrunk while others grew significantly larger. Where is the miracle you may ask? The miracle was my dad was having a pretty good quality of life while on this drug. He felt pretty good every day. He was weak and anemic which was a known side effect but it was better than the other chemo side effects he had with the infusion treatments. My dad is no longer able to take this drug and going back on chemo infusions because we didn’t get the results we had hoped for.

Where are the blessings in this situation? As someone who absolutely trusts God and His will I found many. It has been over 1 year since my dad’s diagnosis, most patients live 3-6 months. My dad had a good friend that was diagnoses a few month after my dad was that is no longer with us. Rest in peace Gary Blakely.

Blessing, my dad has a genetic mutation so he could take the drug that allowed him to feel “pretty” good since March. This means almost 4 months of not being bedridden or battling cold/hot spells, or falling and not being able to get up and so many more detrimental things.

Blessing, My husband and I live 20 minutes from my parents and have a flexible schedule so I go to visit my dad and my mom often for coffee. Early in this cancer walk my dad and I were able to have a discussion about the end of life. He told me he was not afraid to die and was at peace with it. He said it would be harder on our family than on him. This assured me of his faith and knowledge of eternal life.

Other blessings include his insurance offsetting so much of the medical costs, as well as two medical teams working with him (one at MD Anderson and one at UT Southwestern), my mom is still living so he has her every day. My daughter, son-in-law, and grandson live 25 minutes from my parents so they can visit my dad and now we have another baby on the way. I cook meals for my dad to change up his diet so that warms my heart knowing that he enjoys this. I don’t know how many pounds of chicken salad I have made in the last year for him.

I have learned much information about pancreatic cancer and I am educating others for better treatment options and how to locate cancer centers. I was in my friend’s coffee shop one day and I overheard someone say her sister was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I interrupted the conversation to start spewing everything I knew about the importance of genetic testing her sister and the tumor. That conversation would have floated right over me before, but now God perks my ears up when I can help someone on this journey.

I also have so many wonderful friends texting me and checking on my dad. My support team is amazing unlike no other. My husband comforts me in those dark, unsure moments. He is always there to help my dad with things he can no longer do yet still needs to have done. I do my mom’s haircuts and hair color at their home so dad isn’t left alone. I was a hairdresser in my younger days so this skill comes in handy now. It’s like God knew our family needed to be brought closer together to show our faith to God and each other.

I have blogged many time that when I need to feel God near me I somehow see the number eleven. It may be a license plate, the time, or even the weight of my produce. As I was finishing this blog I saw this. I am also including my email count on my phone that just happened as well.

My tears are currently dry because I am counting my blessings and trusting in God to handle this walk. He is always with us and going before us when we have faith. I don’t know where this new round of chemotherapy will take us, what results we will get but I know we are better walking with God and breathing in His goodness and blessings in every situation. Our Heavenly Father is comforting me that this is not the end for my dad.

Please pray for my dad as I am always praying for each of you. All my love and gratitude-LoLo

Why, you may ask, am I celebrating graduating Bible school as a toddler? I am celebrating because I don’t have many memories of attending church or celebrating God’s love. As I was cleaning out my office, I found my baby books that my mom gave me several years ago. I must admit I put them in a cabinet for safe keeping but never read through them.

I have told the story many times about my mother being raised in the church because her father was a Methodist minister. Her family, being a pastoral family would be transferred to a new city and a new church leading her to going to 11 different schools in 12 years. Or was it 12 schools in 11 years? She saw a lot of behind the scene politics and things she felt was unrighteous. She believed then and now in God but pulled away as an adult. This led to our family not attending church regularly throughout my life.

My dad went to church regularly as a child. He was raised by a single mom and his grandmother and developed a deep faith. I have learned much about his faith as we have been taking this walk of pancreatic cancer together for the last year. His heart is very rooted and grounded in God as is my mother’s.

When my older brother was born, my mom wanted to baptize him but my dad said he preferred that he made his own decision on baptism when he was older. This would be the same for any future children. My mom believing a child needed baptism snuck my brother out and had him baptized secretly. This of course cause much tension between my parents. When I was born I think my dad made it very clear that I was not to be baptized and thus was not.

I have struggled mentally and emotionally as a child and as an adult feeling that my brother had some type of favor that I didn’t have because he had been dedicated to God and I had not. I know that probably seems silly to those understanding what baptism truly is but to me it was a deficit within me.

As I now understand that my dad’s decision was truly the best for me, as I understand the commitment decision that goes with publicly announcing you are God’s child and you have accepted Christ as your Savior.

Oh well, back to Bible school. Since I really have few memories of attending church, this baby book really offered me a comfort knowing I had been in church and participating. I was a small 4 year old child learning about Jesus in a religious setting. My parents both must have agreed on this Biblical training at a young age. I felt a small dark spot turn bright that was buried deep in my heart. I keep using the word silly but I could interchange that word with ignorant, foolish, unknowing and many more. My perception of where God is, being in a building surrounded by others is just that, ignorant, foolish, and unknowing because He lives within me in the Holy Spirit.

It’s silly (again, that word) really that I thought less of myself for over 40 years feeling I hadn’t ticked off the proper boxes to be a Christian in every sense. Thinking that one person in my family had found God’s favor because they were baptized and I wasn’t is so not true. I know so differently now.

I was baptized when I was 36 years old along with my daughter, Lexie after my divorce. It was the right time and the right decision. It was when God wanted me to be baptized, not when a parent chose. It made it special, meaningful, as well as peaceful. It made it God’s plan.

If you feel you haven’t fulfilled the checklist to be a Christian, I want you to know there isn’t one. Accepting Jesus as your Savior is all you need and the Holy Spirit will guide you. Don’t waste any part of your life feeling you are not worthy or don’t have God’s favor because you are and you do. Look in your heart and find your Bible school graduation certificate, whatever that may be to you and be healed. My love and gratitude-LoLo.

Recently I have faced much opposition on my belief that every word of the Bible is true. I have heard people say, “I believe the New Testament but the Old Testaments story are too far fetched. I think of them as allegory.” Okay, I had to look that word up. Allegory, a story, poem, or picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one. Another person told me, “It is your place to doubt and question the Bible. You should never take it at face-value.”.

Hmm, I stand in my belief that it is all true. Let’s look at the allegoric approach of the Old Testament. So if the person that told me this believes half of the Bible to be true yet struggles with the Old Testament being “stories” instead of truth, I need to determine if this is a bad thing. So it is my understanding that allegories are not truths but stories to teach a message. Let’s say for example, Jonah being in the whale’s belly for three days. This person feels that it’s an example or story of how we can become trapped when we turn away from God. I feel that as well, but truly we are told this happened because Jonah refused to follow God’s plan. Jonah made a conscious decision not to do as God told him.

I haven’t been trapped in the belly of a whale because that really isn’t conducive to living in a metroplex with no oceans nearby. I also don’t like being in the ocean either. I do feel that we hear stories of people trapped in caves, without food, water, or means of communications to call for help and have survived. What about Alan Ralston that cut his own arm off to survive? https://www.voanews.com/arts-culture/127-hours-tells-true-story-mans-determination-survive-after-hiking-accident We hear their stories of coming out of the impossible just like Jonah did. Am I to say that a man couldn’t survive being in a whale’s belly and be regurgitated alive? No, because some things I am unable to wrap my mind around and understand. I believe this story because of my faith and understanding God’s infinite power.

There are many things I don’t understand or haven’t seen that I know to be true. I have never seen a billion dollars but know it exists. We don’t know how baby eels are made because they have never been seen them mating or giving birth yet eels exist. We don’t see air yet it keeps us alive. We can feel the wind on our faces or hear it in our ears yet not see it. Am I to say a man didn’t get swallowed by a whale and survive, I think not.

Now let’s look at the man who wants me to question and doubt the Bible to prove it is true. He states that since the Bible was not written by one man in a timely fashion it has to be distorted and not factual. God inspired prophets with His words and wisdom.

2 Peter 1:20-21 But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.

Also, there were no television, electronics, or “fake news” that we have today eliminating many distractions. Women did not read or write and it was important for the correct telling of the Old Testament through word of mouth and many times throughout the day. Prayers were recited and remembered. If you asked me what I remember from being 25 years old, I would probably say, “Nothing much.”. Nothing eventful happened that year for me. Now, ask me what happened when I was 29 and I will tell you a complete story. I became pregnant and enjoy nine beautiful months of pregnancy ending in the birth of my beautiful daughter. That year was impactful for me and remains vividly in my memory. I imagine those walking in the time of Jesus remember this time very impactfully too.

We do have evidence the Bible is truthful because we have many manuscripts that are proven to be copied accurately. The New Testament is incredibly accurate with minor differences that does not change Christians beliefs.

The Archaeological Study Bible shows archeological proof that the Bible show historical reality of what is written in it. This book has over 2,000 pages of archeological documentation supporting the Bible.

We also need to remember it can be shown that the four Gospels – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John – present an accurate record of the life and ministry of Jesus. Jesus even tells us in John 10:35, “the Scripture cannot be broken”.

John 10:34-35: Jesus answered, “It is written in your law that God said, ‘I said you are gods.’ This Scripture called those people gods—the people who received God’s message. And Scripture is always true.“

You may disagree with me and I respect that but I will still stand in my faith and trust in God’s Word, the Bible. May God bless you this day. My love and gratitude-LoLo

I live my life in gratitude and an important thing I do is to tell people how blessed I am by knowing them. Although I don’t know you personally, I am grateful for you being here.

I started this ministry three years ago. I was confused why God called me to help others practice more gratitude and recognize their blessings, but He did. I find living in gratitude becoming easier and easier as I center it around knowing my blessings come from Our Heavenly Father.

I have found my heart so much more peaceful when I am grateful. Knowing I am nothing and would have nothing without my love for God and knowing Jesus. I want everyone to feel what I feel and know the peace I know.

God has placed and continues to place many beautiful people in my life that I would not have had the chance to meet before my ministry. These people include hospice patients, lonely older adults, food insecure people in my community, victims of violent crime, confused teenagers, others in search of HOPE, women that had been trafficked, as well as approaching homeless people. I would have never heard the stories or met the people I have in the past three years if God hadn’t placed me in this ministry.

One beautiful man I want to tell you about is a homeless man I encountered twice. The first time I encountered him was when I was leaving a clinic dropping of crosses and hearts for patients. I was leaving the parking lot and proceeded to the left to go to a main thoroughfare to go home. There was a huge truck blocking the road and I was forced to turn right. Immediately after turning I saw a homeless man carrying all his possessions.

God laid it immediately on my heart to share all my money with this man. I had food, shelter, and my family waiting for me and he did not. I rolled my window down and said, “May I give you some money for breakfast or lunch?”. He responded, “Oh yes, thank you lady, thank you.” I will never forget his eyes or voice. He is Hispanic with dark eyes and a very wrinkled face. I think he was younger than he appeared. I reached over and grabbed my wallet and was surprised to see I only had $4. I always have more than $4 in my wallet. I turned to him and said, “I’m sorry I only have $4 but you may have it. I’m sorry I don’t have more.” He took the $4 and continued to thank me.

As I pulled away I felt bad I only had $4. What can $4 buy nowadays? I drove down the road and felt a peace and happiness fill my heart. I felt a message coming to me from Jesus thanking me for giving what I had because it was given in love and kindness and it was $4 more than he had. Jesus always sees things so beautifully, especially when we are finding fault in our good.

Another time I sat with a woman whose brother had killed his girlfriend, another family member, and then himself. This woman looked as if she had no sleep, she was confused why her brother did this, and why had she found the bodies. She rocked back and forth on the couch we were sitting on. Tears came from her eyes and she questioning why. My heart ached for her and I asked her to pick a heart from my tray of 30 different hearts. To this day I remember her picking an orange one. She held it in her hands as she continued to cry and talk of the hurt and betrayal she felt.

The one thing I did notice is that she had stopped rocking back and forth. She also was passing the heart back and forth between her hands. She would hold it for a few seconds sort of rubbing her fingers over the heart sitting in the palm of her hand and repeating this in her other hand. She began calming down and breathing deeply. I knew she was feeling God’s presence within her and being comforted. I asked her if I could pray for her, she of course said yes.

After concluding my prayer she turned to me and said, “May I ask you a question?”. “Of course.”. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “May I have a heart for my sister too?”. My heart sank and I thanked God for being there and allowing her to feel His comfort. She chose an aqua blue heart for her sister.

These are just two people God blessed my path with. Two very special people in very different situations that He helped me see a different side of my normal.

I love you, I pray for you, and I am blessed by knowing you! LoLo

Matthew 25:44-45: “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’”